Wednesday, August 19, 2015

Cocktails in the School Supply Isle

I am pretty sure people who work at Walmart have children. In fact, I am also pretty sure they have children that go to school. However, based on how they torture us parents, I am inclined to think that nobody who works there has a school aged kid. Running with this theory...

Last Friday and before supper (this part is important) I took Luke to get his school supplies. I also went to get groceries. I left him with his list and took mine to gather food for the week. Since he's nearly six feet tall and pretty good at crossing things off a list, I figured multi-tasking would work well. I already hate shopping. Add in trying to find all the crap you need from a two page school supply list (while also not adding it up in your head and thinking OMG this is gunna cost more than a week's worth of groceries) sucks donkey ass.

After a bit I stopped over to check on him. The next isle over was Alison & her clan who were shopping for school supplies. I popped over to say hi and suggested that it would be very nice if they were serving cocktails in the school supply isle for beleaguered parents to imbibe. Maybe just a small rum & coke...or something with a few pieces of fruit and an umbrella. A shot of tequila with the requisite salt on the wrist? Was that too much to ask? Maybe some easy chairs too?

Mr. Alison agreed with me emphatically. Three kids were getting their school supplies in one shot. Looked very painful. Alison wasn't listening. She was too busy trying to fly up to the top shelf and knock a three ring binder down. We watched this for a few minutes before Mr. Alison was like oh honey, you might hurt yourself. He is a pretty tall dude, but even so, there was really no retrieving that binder without wings or a ladder.

Alison returned to us mentally and ever so nicely asked if I had left Luke to get his own school supplies. Hell yes I said. I didn't think I was capable. It is approximately three weeks until New York kids have to go back to school. If I waited any longer it would be slim pickings. However, buying school supplies is conflicting with my case of denial. I never want my kids to go back to school. I also never want summer to be over. And I certainly don't want to shell out $100 for all that crap!

Luke reminded me we still needed to find tabs. He was kinda confused what he needed tabs for. I tried to illustrate what divider tabs looked like with my hands, however I was starving and starting to not make sense.

I tried asking someone who worked at Walmart while mentally trying to remember where we found them the year before. No use. That dude wasn't sure what they were either. After locating tabs in the regular not set up for back to school isle, we then had to find a large trapper keeper back up front.

Of course the nicer blue one was way up in the clouds on the top shelf.

Luke and I found a spare cart and I held it while he used it as a ladder. I was pretty sure his Daddy knew that I was doing something terrible and putting our youngest in harm's way.

THE MAN is always telling us about being safe at the house and there is no way he would think climbing in a cart to retrieve shit on the top shelf was smart. He is also way too smart to go school shopping with a twelve year old. Kinda hate how smart he is some days. ;-)

Thankfully blue trapper keeper was retrieved without injury so we were stuck finishing up the rest of the shopping. People at home kept texting us about how hungry they were and that it was getting really late for dinner. We felt no pity. They at least had food in the cupboard.

We still had to check out and the cart looked like a three ring binder tornado hit it. I tried to feel bad for the checkout lady but didn't. They probably have a private back to school shopping spree complete with private shoppers, stilts, those motorized carts, and wine coolers.


  1. Oh, Mrs Grumble!!!! Soon those school years will be over and you will MISS doing that shop. Ummmmmm....I"m thinking NOT!!!! I think I'd have rewarded myself with a hot dog and told the folks at home to get their own tea!!!

  2. Oh yes the back to school shopping.. I did it for 3 kids at once a few times. I should have bought the note books by the carton the way it seemed to be.. Ah well, summer finishes, holidays are soon,over, and believe me they do eventually finish school and then they do leave home.. And I have actually had a moment or two day dreaming about those school shopping days. Then I slap myself and go buy myself something... Only one at school now.. And the school,supplies the books in a pack... Not sure if it is any cheaper, but easier on the feet,and brain!!!

  3. LOL!!! Oh yes, the back to school shopping!! Ours is every January & I have to say, highly organised. The schools here all use the same stationer (Waltons - a big one like your Staples I think) & send out a catalogue to all the schools who then add in a printed sheet for the grade of the kid (like a chart) with how many of each you need and a code & then all the shelves are coded & you have to go find the code, and they go sequentially, so it's a bit like a hunt! But quite fun!! And they employ extras just for the week before so the laties like us still get what we need & they actually help us!! It takes a bit of time that's for sure but my morons couldn't do it alone LOL


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