Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Assignment Burgundy Zombie

So THE MAN assigned me one chore this summer.

Only one chore.

Of course, there were a lot of better things to do than this one particular chore.

I mean, I had to bust out the angle grinder, sand off rust, use oil base paint, and make it look nice.

I was pretty sure it was a tall order for someone who has fallen out of her desk chair at work several times on accident.

And, I didn't take a before photo. I mean, I have one from afar. But lets face it. I always tried to pretend the blue doors in the background that were nagging at me didn't exist.

Can you see it WAYYYYYY in the background?

And for you folks from places other than here, these doors are a hatch way into your basement. Come fall, all my chairs on my deck, the grill, and stuff I have out in the garden will make it's way down to be stored in the warm via that hatchway door.

And lest you think I survived this whole painting the door thing unharmed?

Let me give you a visual.

I was painting this door in a bikini because

A) Bikini was the same color as paint
B) I sit in the inside all day and thought a bit of sun would be nice
C) Less clothing means I am less likely to have to wear a shirt around for a year with burgundy paint
D) I might be a moron.
E) all of the above.

So, at some point during the painting, I had to reach wayyyyyyy over to the center of the door. What better way to reach than to lean on the side of the hatchway. Which of course was already painted.

Did I mention it was oil base paint?

It looked like I got gored on my side. This look was pared up with an updo to keep hair out of harms way of paint that was slowly unraveling the stickier I got. (I have painted my hair before too)

THE MAN showed up a few minutes later on the mower in theory to check me out in my bikini and fled in horror.

Evidently the Zombie Look is not Sexy. Somebody phone Victoria Secret and let them know.


  1. Oh you are a riot! I am trying hard not to visualize all this as i was reading... sure hope the bikini survived ok!!

  2. Yep, you have a way of painting a picture that is....a tad mind boggling!!!! Good paint job, anyway! So different from our world - we never put anything away!!!!!

  3. You are too funny!!!!! Love what you did...looks great!

  4. Even though you had to endure much trauma, the cellar doors look great. Every time I see cellar doors, I think of the Say Say Oh Playmate rhyme--"shout down my rain barrel, slide down my cellar door, and we'll be jolly friends, forever more." The only people I ever knew who actually had a cellar door were my grandparents. And they never allowed me to slide down their cellar door, which was a great disappointment to me as a child. Do you allow your kids to slide down the cellar doors?


  6. Aaaah you are hysterical! You did a darn fine paint job on that though!!

  7. And of course I'm assuming that somewhere in the midst of all of that yet another parcel was delivered and you were wearing even LESS clothing.... ;)

    The finished project looks WAAAY better.


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